Get a girl grip.
We can hold it all is the new we can have it all.
The Google slang definition of “girl grip” is an ability to carry several items in a single hand by holding them in between individual fingers. This New York Times article on the girl grip (slow news day), called what was once referred to as the “claw grip”, since adapted into TikTok virality has been considered a “secret superpower” (as stated in the NYT article) even so much to phrasing it as a phenomenon.
Women carrying things is a phenomenon. And a superpower. Why?
The whole girl grip movement annoys me. Not sure exactly why, but I’m going to try and figure it out here. Now, whoever came up with it as a marketing ploy for a lipstick, an iPhone case, a hand lotion, whatever — is a genius. It has since then morphed into this power phase that yet again women are encouraged to be empowered by, which realistically is nothing new. Women have been holding a barrage of things in their hands and both arms, busily for a hundred years.
“I think we’ve all been there when we have just, like, an assortment of stuff and we’re running out the door,” said Abby Cox, 29, a fashion historian and a YouTube content creator. “I need to make sure I have my glasses, I need my water bottle. Do I need to bring a snack?” - from that same NYT article
I’m sure you’ve heard of a shoulder bag, Abby.
When I see a girl grip photo, all I see is chaos. The act of pretending it is chaos is less impressive to me. It is to reflect a busy mind of a woman, multitasking by default, walking and thinking of her to-do lists and mentally formulating text messages all at once. From now until the Earth stands, the classic girl grip requires a phone, wallet, coffee and keys. This starter pack is playing as a decoy message to the next generation of young women that you have to carry many things to look important or cool.
Underneath one girl grip video, the caption read something like, ‘mastering the girl grip is an essential life skill.’ No, it is not. There are far more crucial life skills to master instead of a viral social media trend. More importantly and this one is obvious at least to myself, holding various objects in your hand is not a skill, but more of sometimes things land that way. Someone hands you this to hold, then you go to grab your keys, oh, don’t forget your sunglasses. This is not a practiced effort, they’re movements, decisions and fast actions to inevitably get you from point A to point B. Show me the superpower.
I am very much from the school of everything has its place. Whenever I find myself in real life girl grip mode is when I actually feel the least in control. I don’t approve of how it makes me appear to be, that I can’t figure out a way to tuck my wired earphones in my pants pocket, or my keys flailing on the tip of my fingers. I don’t go out of my way to look messy, perturbed or in a rush, because there is an expectation that I am distracted. People f with you when you look distracted. Therefore, I am never distracted enough that my first priority is to not place my keys into a safe, hidden spot such as the inside of my bag or jacket pocket.
There is a line I love from the book Writers & Lovers by Lily King, she writes that “Success rests more easily on men.” Why is a girl grip the new power trip for women and is it code for a not-so-secret to success? Honestly, I would like someone (comment below) to walk me through it. What Lily King meant is that the idea of success comes more stealth and effortless for a man, because of the stupid way the world works and also most of them appear successful without lifting a finger. And here we are telling women about utilizing the claw of our hands to show what we can do. How much we can bear to hold from a tight grip is how we’re meant to prove our worth? At least for this social media viral cycle?
I don’t think a performative girl grip insinuates that you are cool and have things under control or that you are an organized person. It looks like you’re showing off, for who is the bigger question.
You know what is actually a superpower and far more impressive to me? Watching a woman balance a bar tray on her wrist carrying beer pints or plates of food with not so much of a step out of place. As a former server myself, balancing 2-3 plates on one full arm down to the wrist felt pretty empowering. And the plates were slightly hot.
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5 good things
How a Knicks good luck charm has made it into the Guggenheim
Two favorite girls Chloe Sevigny styles Hannah Einbinder for Myth Mag
Weekend plans with TheAesop Queer Library - complimentary books by LGBTQIA2S+ authors and allies (no purchase necessary). Check the list if your city is participating.
I’m going to get my first tarot reading in a decade. I have a history w/tarot, I started studying and reading them for friends and friends of friends back in college. Then after college I got a little more serious about it and if you (the tarot reader) are not in a good mental/emotional place (which I really wasn’t) — please do not read tarot for yourself or anyone. So then I stopped. Tonight I’m getting a tarot reading at The Morgan Library where it’s the opening of a new exhibit ‘Tarot! Renaissance Symbols, Modern Visions’.
Heaven Mayhem sample sale up to 70% off ~ I can finally buy the necklace I’ve been coveting for years now at under $40 and their signature statement earrings for $25.
🏳️🌈,
dnamag